Right now, planning is my number one hobby, followed closely by Facebook, mahjong on my ipod, reading up on "real food" and watching episodes of PBS Masterpiece and Arrested Development. I play with my kids when they're awake. Sometimes at night, I drink a glass of wine and try to read American Rose without dozing off (not because the book is bad, I just can't stay awake). I think about sewing, but I'm such a perfectionist I can't bear to start because I'll get so frustrated when I don't do it right.

I really can't stop thinking about where we want to live next. First, we decided we were moving to Atlanta. Then, it was the NJ suburbs of NYC. Last week, it was the NJ suburbs of Philly. Now it's Los Angeles. I look at real estate. I look at neighborhoods. I read City-Data. I check on schools. It gets pretty consuming and then I wonder why I'm even bothering... we don't plan to leave NYC for several years yet.

I do it because I'm tired of NYC and I'm ready to go. I'm ready to leave the crowds of people and the dirt and rudeness everywhere. I'm ready to leave our 1 1/2 bedroom masquerading as a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, combo living/dining room, no dishwasher, no washer/dryer. I'm tired of being so broke for no good reason. So many people we know are leaving the city... it makes me sad and frustrated that we have to stick it out here for a little while longer. Things are so hard and isolating here that I'm dreaming of somewhere better. I hope we can find it.