What do you do?

The day we found out we were pregnant, we were snorkeling in Belize. A family in our snorkel group had nine year-old twin boys. Zazie, of course, had a feeling from the moment the test turned positive that morning (on earliest day the test could work, by the way) that we were having twins. These were the first people we told about our pregnancy.

We had a long conversation with them that day. They told us that they didn't tell their boys who'd been born first. In fact, their boys had gotten in a discussion with one of their friends at school. This kid said: "You can't have been born at the exact same time. That's impossible." To which the boys replied, "How do you know? You're not a twin!"

We thought that was a pretty cool idea. We've learned from Zazie's sisters (who are also fraternal twins) that sometimes birth order can become pecking order. Despite being only minutes apart, one twin became the de facto "oldest."

After talking with our new Belize friends, we decided they had it right. We weren't going to tell anyone who'd been born first. We know, but no one else will.

It's been really hard, though. Who knew? People act a little insulted when they ask who was born first and we won't tell them. Zazie & I are people-pleasers and it's difficult to tell people no. We just say "We're not telling anyone."

Is there a better way to say it?

They are nearly three months old!

These girls turn three months old on Sunday. (We are counting weeks instead of going by the calendar date. Does that sound right?)

This morning, I got them ready for the day and they were both smiling at me... those smiles are delicious. It's getting easier and easier to make them smile. This morning, Ruby was enjoying my kissing noises, while Ellie thought my chucking her cheeks was fantastic.

Zazie takes them to the pediatrician for their vaccinations this morning. We're doing a spread-out schedule, which I know is controversial, but they'll get them all, just not all at once. The doctor's fine with it and we feel more comfortable. I am waiting for the call that they did ok.

It is so hard to leave them in the morning and I rush home from work every night to see them again. Last night, Aunt B. was holding Ruby and Ruby started to cry and cry and cry. I can't say I wasn't pleased to have her stop crying immediately the second I started to hold her.

My sweet girls make my heart fill to bursting.

Hallelujah!

The girls have had problems latching since birth. They were preemies and, though they were healthy and good-sized for twins, breastfeeding hasn't come easy. Zazie's been pumping enough for most of their bottles, but she'd like a break from that once in a while. We were told by the lactation consultant that preemies usually get the hang of it right around when they would be considered full-term.

They're a couple weeks behind, but praise jeebus, they both fed for a significant amount of time last night!! I think we might be over the hump. That's a huge weight off Zazie's mind.

And this too shall pass, yes?

So far, the girls have been pretty mellow. We've fed them, burped them, changed them, played with them a bit (depending on the time of day), then they go right back to sleep. Now, holy jeebus, things have changed. If they are awake and we are not holding them, they are crying to be held. When they wake up to be fed, there's no leeway... they're 0 to OHMYGODFEEDMENOWI'MDYING. That aside, they are both thisclose to smiling & we are anxiously awaiting that day. After seeing their gassy smirks, their actual smiles will be beautiful.

6 weeks Sunday!

More pictures! Yeah!

A Whole Month...

Today would've been my girls' due date if... well, if there had been only one baby, or if they hadn't been breech, or if the doctor had been willing to let them go to 40 weeks.

As it is, Sunday will be their 1 month birthday! I can't believe it. They've grown so much already. This picture is from a couple of weeks ago. I had been taking pictures pretty frequently, but now that I'm back at work, it's a little difficult.

I don't know... the first few weeks, we didn't know our own names. We were bleary-eyed exhaustion. For now, though, things seem relatively easy. The "zoo" part of Zeebah & Zazie will happen later, I guess. They eat at regular intervals, they sleep, they're alert for longer and longer periods of time. Neither of them are criers- well, they are, but they're usually just trying to tell us something & they're quickly consolable.

My girls are awesome.

My beautiful ladies

Ruby Dianne & Eleanor Kate

September 27, 2009

4 lbs., 14 oz. and 5 lbs., 12 oz.

We are at home & in love. More later.

That's It!

When Zazie went to the doctor this afternoon, both of our darlings were breech. Argh! That means Baby B, who's always been transverse since the beginning, has moved, but not in the way that we'd like. Stubborn baby! There's no external version option with twins and moxibustion seems unpleasant, so I guess we're going to be crossing our fingers for them to do a 180 between now and....

October 9th!!!

Our girls, if they don't decide to show up on their own before then, will be born by c-section on October 9th. How crazy & frightening & awesome!

A Lovely Weekend

Everyone we know with children has been urging us to get out and do things before we no longer have the chance. This weekend we were very busy!

Saturday, we went to [bigSwedishboxstore] to get a dresser and bookshelf for the girls' room. In an ideal world, we would get an antique/vintage real wood dresser, but we are running out of time and there's no good (read:cheap) antiquing here in the City. Last night I began putting together the dresser. I stopped when I realized that I had assembled a drawer the wrong way and couldn't pull the pieces apart to reassemble it the right way (stupid plastic screws!). When I get tired, I get ridiculously frustrated and when I get frustrated, I stop thinking clearly, so it's better to finish assembling later this week.

My dresser assembly attempts thwarted, I stayed up way too late sorting all of their clothes and blankets and towels and washclothes so we can wash them. Seriously, all those little onesies and pants were killing me! I can't believe we will meet them so soon.

We also hung out with a lovely lesbian couple and their boy/girl twins on Saturday night. You know it's good when you can spend 5+ hours with people you've just met! Bonus, they live within walking distance (or short bus ride) from us. Our girls will need to be around other families like ours and it's a bonus that we like this family so much!

Yesterday, we had a very New York day. We saw Bye Bye Birdie on Broadway (short review: headliners need to work on singing, Kim & other cast good, sets & costumes great), then followed up with dinner at Ben's, a kosher deli. I had matzoh ball soup & corned beef on rye, Zazie had mushroom-barley soup & brisket. We left stuffed and happy.

Happy Anniversary!

Happy fourteenth anniversary!

Can you believe our luck? We have each other and we have not one, but two, sweet baby girls on the way...

I love you, honey. May we have fifteen million more!

Latest Doc Visit

Today is 33 weeks!! We can't believe it. Yesterday, someone pointed out that if full-term for twins is 36 (that's up for debate, as far as I can tell, we're only 3 weeks away! Talk about spurring us into action... we're getting the girls' room ready, but we have yet to get our hospital bags ready. I just printed out a list for Zazie and a list for me. Nursing bras are ordered, other supplies have been purchased, and the only thing left is to gather and pack what we already have. I've unilaterally decided that we're going to take care of the bag this weekend. That'll be a load off my mind.

At Zazie's checkup this week, we found out that the girls are measuring 4 lbs. 3 oz. and 4 lbs. 1 oz.! We're very pleased that they're on track, even for singletons. Zazie read a book early on called When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads that recommended, in addition to just eating normally, that you add specfic types of foods at different times of your pregnancy. They really emphasize eating protein (especially beef and pork). We've been eating a ton of those things lately. The transition from mostly beans/veg/white meat to red meat and eggs has been rough for us, but the girls seem to be doing well so far, so why mess with a good thing?

Zazie's blood pressure, sugars, etc. are normal. The girls are breech. Baby B's always hung out sideways under Zazie's ribs, Baby A shifts every week, it seems, though she has yet to be head-down (the optimal position for labor) for even one doctor's visit. What a stinker! They still have time to shift so Zazie can have a va.ginal birth. Cross your fingers for us.

This is a picture Zazie took this afternoon in the girls' room. Our cat, Idgie, is hanging out peacefully while our angry dolls look on. Once we get the room completed, I'll post pictures.

The shoot/interview went really, really well. I don't know if they're going to use any of the footage that we were so embarrassed by. We are very pleased at how it went...

Tonight Tonight.

Tonight's the night that the film crew comes. I think somehow we passed their test with the first interview we had. Last time they filmed, it was just the producer and a camera person, but this time, it'll be the producer, the director, and at least one camera person. They'll be arriving at our house at 5:30 (before I get home), so I've been told to text as I'm heading home so they can attach a microphone pack on me before I go up to the apartment.

Last night, the producer came over to take pictures of the apartment so they could plan the set-up and lighting. Zazie said they even took a picture of the cat box. They like the idea that we're in "transition"- ie, we just moved to a new apartment & we're expecting our lovely girls. They asked us to keep a few boxes aside so we can unpack. As girls who never let anyone into our apartment unless we've cleaned, this is a difficult situation. They want to show us in transition, but we don't want to give a permanent impression that we're anything less than put together!

We'll make dinner, we'll put together the bookshelf for the girls' room, and then, I don't know what we'll do... they want to film us "doing our thing" for two hours. What the heck are we going to talk about? It goes against the purpose of a documentary if I come up with a list of topics to talk about, right?

I'll have plenty more to tell you tomorrow, I'm sure. I'll take pictures of the girls' room- it's really starting to take shape and look nice. I'll also take pictures of the crew... turnabout's fair play.

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

This weekend is our shower! It's unbelievable how time flies... we are looking forward to seeing our family & friends. S. was kind enough to offer up her house to our ridiculous shower guest list of TWENTY-EIGHT people. Twenty-eight people in a Manhattan apartment... G-d bless her. K. headed up all the planning and organizing and cooking, and other friends are also cooking. How nice are our friends?

Zazie had her 32 week check-up yesterday. They got a great shot of Baby B... she was sleeping, but her face was pointed directly at the camera. This is the first time we've been able to get a good look at her lovely little face. Poor Baby A is just in a much more difficult to see postion, so we never get good pictures of her. Zazie was supposed to send the pictures so I could post them, but she's been too busy doing actual work (G-d forbid!) to email them.

The problem with being on "modified bedrest" and working from home is that it seems that working never really stops. The computer's right there, we can connect quickly... while on the Internet, why not check the work email? Why not answer the boss's email at 10:30pm? It's a slippery slope, people.

Crib Update

Yes, I'm sure everyone's on the edge(s?) of their seat(s?) waiting to hear our decision. Haha.

After talking with a friend last night who pointed out that they're not making as many cribs with drop-downs because of safety concerns, we're just going to wait until October and get the crib we want sans drop-down. We've got 2 co-sleepers, thanks to my cousin and Zazie's cousin, and we'll be using those for the first few months anyway, so we'll have plenty of time.

Aah! That counter at the top of the page makes my stomach flip! We will get to meet them so soon!!! Zazie goes to the doctor this afternoon... hopefully, we'll get pictures of both of them & I can post them.

Crib Drama

Zazie's dad's baby present was going to be cribs for the girls. Zazie just got a call from the manufacturer. Apparently, there were 2 cribs in white left in stock, but when they opened the boxes, they were both water-damaged. They won't be back in stock until October, and even then, the new version of the crib won't have a drop-down side! If we want this style, we'll have to get either cherry or oak. Yuck.

Cherry? Oak? Or another crib entirely? I just want to have things settled.

They're Gonna Put Me in the Movies...

Zazie and I did an interview with a documentary film crew a few weeks ago. They're coming back for more footage and interview tomorrow night because apparently, the director liked us (he was not at the initial interview).

We're dragging our feet on this one. We were nervous the first time, but now we're dreading it. The documentary is supposed to be about love in the big city, but they seemed to focus a lot on our donor and how we picked him during the first interview, resulting in some funny (read: embarrassing) quotes from me that I'm sure they're going to use. We were pretty unhappy with the focus... I can only assume that the two (young-ish) straight girls doing the interview were oblivious and not familiar with our type of baby-making situation. We also were filmed in our old apartment, which was in shambles after weeks of packing in preparation for our move, in front of a bunch of boxes.

Tomorrow, they want to film us for TWO hours doing house stuff, then do an interview. The apartment is STILL a wreck because we've been trying to paint and unpack with Lauren unable to do much at all because she's on modified bedrest. Plus, our new place, while much better than the old, doesn't have nearly the nooks and crannies to shove the stuff we don't want filmed.

We'd scrap the whole thing, but we've already signed a release for the other footage, so they'll probably use it anyway. We're hoping to redeem ourselves with tomorrow's shoot. We'll see.

UPDATE: I just spoke with the director. In addition to the stuff around the house and the interview, they also want to film us getting ready for bed. Ahahahahahahaha. Zazie's going to looooove that.

So Much to Do, So Little Time

We moved into our new place this past week. It is fantastic, even more so now that the air conditioners were installed. Zazie started working from home this week & working from home, 7 1/2 month pregnant, with no a/c in an east-facing apartment on the 12th floor was too much for her, as were sleeping and also just existing.

We had our first meeting with our attorney about our wills and the second-parent adoption. We realize that the originals of documents like birth certificates and domestic partnership are currently missing, either because they're in a box somewhere or just gone. Hopefully, they're misplaced.

We have a lot of work ahead of us, between getting our documentation together and unpacking and painting. And then there's getting the girls' room ready! AAAAAhhhh!

Follow Along, Friends

After a months and months long hiatus, I'm (that's me, Zeebah) going to start writing again. But since we're now expecting two sweet girls in a few months, I'm adding Zazie as an author so we can write about them once they're here (and write about what's happening now)!

A little about us, in case you're just tuning in: we're a 30-something lesbian couple in Brooklyn, NYC. We've been together 14 years in September. We were married in Connecticut last May. We conceived twin girls via an anonymous donor. They're due in late October, but we're expecting their arrival anytime after the end of September since twins are usually early.