Wednesday, March 28, 2012

An Oh Sh&t Moment

This morning. On the train. Oh sh*t, we're going to have to apply for pre-k next spring. We don't particularly want to send them to the neighborhood school (we don't live in the best district). But in looking at the numbers NYC puts out, last year, they had nearly 150 applicants for 36 seats. Many MANY of the schools nearby show the same kind of numbers: 3-5x more applicants than seats. That's not even factoring in getting both girls into the same school. We could move, but our lease is up in July. We can't possibly be ready to leave by this July, and next July will be after the application deadline. Dude.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

So many things!

First ultrasound was yesterday. She/he is measuring right on schedule, we saw the heartbeat. Only one more ultrasound and then we're cleared by the RE. Yes!

Ru peed in her potty! Night before last, she was running around and she started pulling down her diaper, so I asked if she wanted to go, she said yes, and she did it! Poor girl... Zazie was praising her, but I think she was embarrassed she'd peed in the potty (her first potty-using experience months ago involved poop and she was totally traumatized and wtf?!) until we both started saying "Yay Ru!" and clapping. She went again last night and this morning. Zazie bought Pu.llUps this morning, so we're going to put those on her during the day. I think she's going to get it quickly...  El is nowhere near potty-training time, but we're hoping that if Ru gets the hang of it, El will want to do it too.

In other news, what the heck am I supposed to eat? Everything makes me want to puke. I am not a squeamish delicate person, so I'm annoying myself with all the retching at smells. This morning, Zazie made chicken salad in the kitchen and I couldn't go in without thinking I might puke. Not that I've puked yet, but you never know when the first time might be. I have been craving Spr.ite, and that sucks because the corn syrup makes my stomach hurt. I just ate a slice of pizza successfully so whee! Other things that are ok: apples, bananas, crackers, microwave burritos, Macro.bars. I'm having difficulty with protein, though. Meat smell makes me ill, Phil. I'd been chewing on those ginger chews, but the sugar in them was throwing me off. I just bought some ginger capsules and hopefully those will do the trick.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The update

Last week was rough in spots. I kept coming across articles mentioning things that no newly pregnant lady should read- my child has a rare chromosomal disorder, I had to terminate my pregnancy because of the baby's horrible, life-threatening deformities, I miscarried at twelve weeks. Can we get to this nuchal test now please? Oh wait, dag. That's not going to be for another month and a half.

Ain't nothin' to it but to do it (something I heard a husband saying to his laboring wife, btw, and I think it's awesome and useful in so many situations). No reason to worry until there's a reason to worry, right? I am still not feeling 100% "there's a baby coming to our house in November" but I am inching toward feeling that way. Maybe by six months.

Sickness kicked in like clockwork yesterday. For those of you counting at home, today is six weeks. I have been eating ginger chews like crazy. I need to eat so often to avoid the gags- it's really feeling like annoying work and we're only two days in. How do you eat frequently when nothing is appealing? I'm feeling a little heartburn-y, too. If it's this way now, I'm really going to feel like sh*t toward the end.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Other than that, I'm fine.

Picture break before I talk some more about me Me ME! Haha. I wish I were as cool and cute as my kids. 

I feel like I got hit by a truck. Yesterday afternoon and this afternoon, it has been a struggle to keep my eyes open. Last night I went to bed on the early-ish side, but I woke up at 4 am to worry about stuff, including things that don't involve me at all- including a friend's mom's underfunded K!ck.starter effort. So maybe that's why I'm tired. 

As of yet, *knock wood* I haven't felt any queasiness, though I read somewhere that doesn't start until six weeks. That's Monday, but it seems hard to believe that it's going to hit like a switch turned on. I hope it doesn't, anyway. Aside from some cramping and occasional twinges like I've pulled something in my stomach when I move or turn too fast, I'm feeling not much different that I did before pregnant so far. 

This weekend, no plans yet. Maybe we'll take the girls to the zoo Saturday. 

Thursday, March 8, 2012


In a weird twist, our donor's family now knows I'm pregnant, but our parents don't know.

(for anyone catching up, our donor was an open donor from a sp.erm bank. When he died two years ago, one thing led to another, and now we know all his sisters and his parents).

Last night was what would've been his 32nd birthday. Each year, his family does a shot of Jack in his honor. (Have I mentioned they're an awesome family?) His youngest sister happened to be in town last night, so we got on S.kype with everyone. I felt nervous about making the announcement so soon, but with his sister J's encouragement, I spilled the beans. How else was I going to explain the lack of shot-taking? Sisters are happy, mom is ecstatic, dad was... who knows? (he can be pretty stoic). We got some grandmotherly nagging about when we were coming down to visit them (in the spring, most likely).

I can't get over how weird and fantastic all of this new, crazy family is. I love it.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Seriously, I need someone to pay me for worrying.

The beta today is 2800. I don't have to go back to the doctor until an ultrasound on the 21st. Of course, now I'm looking up hcg calculators and putting my numbers in, just to give myself agita. If things weren't just fine, they wouldn't have me wait two weeks to go back in, they'd just keep checking my numbers. Shut up, brain.

Friday, March 2, 2012


Writing every day? Huh? Who am I? 

Cute story Zazie just told me... 
This morning, Ru didn't realize you'd gone until after you most likely out of the building - she started calling for you and I said that you had just left. She started knocking on the front door and said, "Hey, Mama, I want to kiss you!"
Our donor's sister is coming for an overnight visit on her way through town. We're meeting her boyfriend, seems that they're getting pretty serious, so it'll be nice to meet him. We're going to tell her the news... I think she's going to be very excited!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

How did you refer to your kid when they were on the inside?

We came up with the girls' names pretty quickly after we found out they were girls, so we called them their names while they were in utero ... I don't remember what we  called them before that. Our friends E and P are calling their baby "Bean." A. called her son "The Pierogi." My sister-in-law called her son "Fred"- something about B-fast at T.iffany's, if I remember? 

What did you call your kid when they were on the inside? 

Today's Update

Beta is 431, a little more than double what it was Tuesday. Yes!

Okay, really. Deep breaths now.

Zazie's IVF stuff was processed by our insurance, no problem. Apparently, this time around they really are trying to kill me. You know that part about how my meds were billed to my FSA, and how they fixed it? Well, no, they hadn't. I checked my account online to see if the issue had been resolved yet and it hadn't. My retrieval and transfer last week hadn't been covered and according to them, not only did I owe for the meds but I also owed for both procedures. That's thousands and thousands of dollars, people, and this well is nearly dry as it is. I called the insurance company and they told me I was over my lifetime maximum (which should cover at least 1 IVF procedure so wtf?) It turns out that they had billed for my meds not once, but THREE TIMES. THREE. It was a glitch, they're fixing it, but in the meantime, my doctor's office thinks that my insurance isn't paying anymore, so it won't be long before they start asking for payment up front. I am sure this will be resolved at some point, but my heart is racing and I feel a little shaky. This is not a good, healthy feeling and I really don't need this hanging over my head right now. Deep breaths... yes, I am trying to remain calm.