Ellie started grousing at 6:30 this morning. We don't normally go get them out of their cribs until at least 7, so I waited a few minutes to see if she'd just go back to sleep. After ten minutes or so, I gave up and went in just in case something was wrong. She wasn't crying in the way that said there was anything wrong, but better safe than sorry. I went in and the little stinker had her sleep sack half on! One sleeve on, one sleeve off. I suppose it was uncomfortable. I can only think that maybe I didn't pull the zipper all the way down last night when I put her to bed.
Poor Ruby was still asleep when I went in to check on them. She lifted her head and sat up, but she laid right down and went back to sleep! Normally, if one of them is up and you go in to get the awake one, the one who's asleep wakes up instantly. So the poor girl must've been tired. I would be too if I had to hear that complaining when I was trying to sleep!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Oy, the Clingy and the Cranky.
The ladies are extremely clingy these days. You leave the room for a second and they let out piercing wails. Pick one up first, the other one screams, even as you're talking to the left-behind one to tell her she's next. The tears, the tears!
We've set up one of those Super Play Yards with a cushy alphabet mat at the end of the living room. It makes us doubly sad to see both of them standing, crying and pulling at the fence when we leave them to go get something in the other room. We are doing our best to rectify our rugless situation so that we can free them from their baby prison and explore the house. Our floors are parquet over cement (ie face-breaking-hard) so there is no way we can let them roam before rugs happen.
Seriously, being a parent to twins is so hard. Being a parent to twins without a car, dishwasher, or washer/dryer is f*cking impossible. Well, not impossible, since we seem to be doing it, but WAH!!
To keep the kitchen clean, one needs to wash dishes, dishes, dishes. Of course, we can't wash the dishes when the girls are awake (I like to spend time with daughters every day, funny, and with my hour commute, I don't get much awake time). We can't do them right after they go to sleep, because with their room right off the kitchen and that weird service window between the rooms (we think their room used to be the dining room), they wake up. So if dishes get done, they have to be done at 9 or 10 when they're asleep enough that they don't stir. We are planning to switch rooms with them so they won't be disturbed (unless it's by our neighbor with the recording studio who forgets what time it is- that's another story), but that requires painting their room, moving furniture, cleaning, etc. with babies who refuse to be separated from us. And then there's the laundry, which Zazie can't do during the day because of their nap schedule (and keeping them in the stroller for too long), so it can only be done at night or on the weekends. Or the grocery and necessity shopping that can be done either by me on my way home from work or on the weekend with both of us, during the time that we should be cleaning or cooking or doing laundry or hanging out with our children and each other!
Oh, wait, when did this become the whining hour?
Seriously, I have had it with New York. I've had it with renting. I've had it with not having a car. I've had it with not having a washer dryer. Problem is, on one income, how does a family leave this place? Or are we stuck in this circle of hell for all eternity?
(My opinions are not necessarily shared by Zazie. Just want to put that out there.)
We've set up one of those Super Play Yards with a cushy alphabet mat at the end of the living room. It makes us doubly sad to see both of them standing, crying and pulling at the fence when we leave them to go get something in the other room. We are doing our best to rectify our rugless situation so that we can free them from their baby prison and explore the house. Our floors are parquet over cement (ie face-breaking-hard) so there is no way we can let them roam before rugs happen.
Seriously, being a parent to twins is so hard. Being a parent to twins without a car, dishwasher, or washer/dryer is f*cking impossible. Well, not impossible, since we seem to be doing it, but WAH!!
To keep the kitchen clean, one needs to wash dishes, dishes, dishes. Of course, we can't wash the dishes when the girls are awake (I like to spend time with daughters every day, funny, and with my hour commute, I don't get much awake time). We can't do them right after they go to sleep, because with their room right off the kitchen and that weird service window between the rooms (we think their room used to be the dining room), they wake up. So if dishes get done, they have to be done at 9 or 10 when they're asleep enough that they don't stir. We are planning to switch rooms with them so they won't be disturbed (unless it's by our neighbor with the recording studio who forgets what time it is- that's another story), but that requires painting their room, moving furniture, cleaning, etc. with babies who refuse to be separated from us. And then there's the laundry, which Zazie can't do during the day because of their nap schedule (and keeping them in the stroller for too long), so it can only be done at night or on the weekends. Or the grocery and necessity shopping that can be done either by me on my way home from work or on the weekend with both of us, during the time that we should be cleaning or cooking or doing laundry or hanging out with our children and each other!
Oh, wait, when did this become the whining hour?
Seriously, I have had it with New York. I've had it with renting. I've had it with not having a car. I've had it with not having a washer dryer. Problem is, on one income, how does a family leave this place? Or are we stuck in this circle of hell for all eternity?
(My opinions are not necessarily shared by Zazie. Just want to put that out there.)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Mermaids
Last weekend, we did the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island. We were all Pineapple Princesses, in the vein of the Annette Funicello song. Things went pretty well- the girls didn't crank out too badly and we had a decent time, too! We will definitely be heading back out to Coney later in the summer to ride the Wonder Wheel, eat Nathan's, and hang out on the beach. Those are just things we have to do every summer!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Wow.
Three years, five kids. These kids' moms are some of our best and oldest friends here in NYC.Ruby and Ellie are in the middle, obviously. This is right as Ellie started to FLIP OUT(!!) because L. (green stripe) was leaning back on her arm.
Cuties.
Well. Hmm.
Where is the Miss Manners for Families-who've-Conceived-with-Open-Donors-and-Now-Have-Contact-With-Half-Sibs'-Families? This is all such new territory and there is so much potential for drama.
So far:
-One woman in the group apparently contacted the donor and met him IRL not too long ago. This woman then posted a picture with her kid and donor on her F.B page, but refused to share the story with someone who asked about it because the meeting was "private between her kid, her and the donor". When Zazie friended her on F.B, this mom told Zazie in no certain terms that she didn't want any questions asked about her "relationship" with the donor, though Z had asked her nothing.
-Another woman is heartbroken that the above woman "broke the rules" and met the donor.
-One woman's (same-sex) partner is absolutely against her co-mom having anything to do with our group, but has acquiesced to the G.Group so co-mom can get info on the other kids. This co-mom has initiated FB 'friendships' but hides most of her personal info from us.
- Zazie and another mom have become fast friends and have started IM'ing each other nearly every night. Zazie and I have had other very nice IMs with a couple other moms.
Zazie suggested a "get-together" sometime next year for everyone and the group, normally quiet, has EXPLODED with emails.
Some said they wouldn't be joining in the get-together at all, due to concerns about their childrens' privacy. I have been turning this over and over in my mind, trying to figure out the reasoning. These moms have initiated contact with the rest of us, but they're worried that somehow their kids won't want that contact when they get older & the kids will be upset that their parents shared details about them. Supposedly, they've joined the group to "leave the door open" for the kids to make the choice themselves later. In my mind, Ruby and Ellie are more likely to be pissed at us later if we were aware of a group of parents of half-sibs, but we refused to take part, and thus, deprived them of having a long relationship with their half-sibs. Our family is Mama, Mommy, Ruby & Ellie (and hopefully baby #3 in a few years). I don't see how having a friendly relationship with these other parents threatens our family unit. Can anyone explain to me? I'd ask the G.group folks, but I can't figure out a way to ask without putting these moms on the defensive.
Others are saying that they want to take part in the get-together, but only if we can refer to the kids as "friends" (not half-sibs). First, I don't see why these kids (the oldest is about 6 years old) would even ask how we all know each other. Couldn't you just say these are Mark, Sally, Bernice, etc.? Second, if Zazie and my policy is honesty with our girls, that means we tell them that these kids are their half-sibs. Why should I have to worry about my kid "outing" their relationship to another kid whose parents aren't going to tell them the truth?
Opinions? Guidance? This is such a weird situation. We're dealing with total strangers whose kids have an intimate connection to our kids. Brave new world!
So far:
-One woman in the group apparently contacted the donor and met him IRL not too long ago. This woman then posted a picture with her kid and donor on her F.B page, but refused to share the story with someone who asked about it because the meeting was "private between her kid, her and the donor". When Zazie friended her on F.B, this mom told Zazie in no certain terms that she didn't want any questions asked about her "relationship" with the donor, though Z had asked her nothing.
-Another woman is heartbroken that the above woman "broke the rules" and met the donor.
-One woman's (same-sex) partner is absolutely against her co-mom having anything to do with our group, but has acquiesced to the G.Group so co-mom can get info on the other kids. This co-mom has initiated FB 'friendships' but hides most of her personal info from us.
- Zazie and another mom have become fast friends and have started IM'ing each other nearly every night. Zazie and I have had other very nice IMs with a couple other moms.
Zazie suggested a "get-together" sometime next year for everyone and the group, normally quiet, has EXPLODED with emails.
Some said they wouldn't be joining in the get-together at all, due to concerns about their childrens' privacy. I have been turning this over and over in my mind, trying to figure out the reasoning. These moms have initiated contact with the rest of us, but they're worried that somehow their kids won't want that contact when they get older & the kids will be upset that their parents shared details about them. Supposedly, they've joined the group to "leave the door open" for the kids to make the choice themselves later. In my mind, Ruby and Ellie are more likely to be pissed at us later if we were aware of a group of parents of half-sibs, but we refused to take part, and thus, deprived them of having a long relationship with their half-sibs. Our family is Mama, Mommy, Ruby & Ellie (and hopefully baby #3 in a few years). I don't see how having a friendly relationship with these other parents threatens our family unit. Can anyone explain to me? I'd ask the G.group folks, but I can't figure out a way to ask without putting these moms on the defensive.
Others are saying that they want to take part in the get-together, but only if we can refer to the kids as "friends" (not half-sibs). First, I don't see why these kids (the oldest is about 6 years old) would even ask how we all know each other. Couldn't you just say these are Mark, Sally, Bernice, etc.? Second, if Zazie and my policy is honesty with our girls, that means we tell them that these kids are their half-sibs. Why should I have to worry about my kid "outing" their relationship to another kid whose parents aren't going to tell them the truth?
Opinions? Guidance? This is such a weird situation. We're dealing with total strangers whose kids have an intimate connection to our kids. Brave new world!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
And That's One of the Things I Hate.
Oh, New York. Everyone is real estate- and neighborhood-obsessed. Unfortunately, you are forced to become that way as you get chased from neighborhood to neighborhood in search of an affordable place to live (and, most likely, you are displacing someone who has even less money than you do, but that's another story).
A nearby nabe used to be known as the heart of lesbian NYC. That is, until it got nice and then expensive. Then most of the lesbians left for greener (ie cheaper) pastures.
On the neighborhood queer listserv, someone asked where all the gays go when they can't afford P-Slop. Lots of folks chimed in about the neighborhoods they've moved to... "we like it, more space, decent schools, blahblahblah..." After lots of discussion about other neighborhoods, a woman wrote in to say, "...can't help but continue to feel slightly abandoned! now that we could finally afford to move back to the slope, sounds like the mass exodus continues. this has been our experience with many queer friends too . anybody left out there?"
Ugh. Seriously. Cry me a river and then shut your mouth. In a discussion where people are saying they can't afford the "good" neighborhood, you're boohooing about how you CAN afford it? Really?
A nearby nabe used to be known as the heart of lesbian NYC. That is, until it got nice and then expensive. Then most of the lesbians left for greener (ie cheaper) pastures.
On the neighborhood queer listserv, someone asked where all the gays go when they can't afford P-Slop. Lots of folks chimed in about the neighborhoods they've moved to... "we like it, more space, decent schools, blahblahblah..." After lots of discussion about other neighborhoods, a woman wrote in to say, "...can't help but continue to feel slightly abandoned! now that we could finally afford to move back to the slope, sounds like the mass exodus continues. this has been our experience with many queer friends too . anybody left out there?"
Ugh. Seriously. Cry me a river and then shut your mouth. In a discussion where people are saying they can't afford the "good" neighborhood, you're boohooing about how you CAN afford it? Really?
Long time, no update
Our trip to Texas last week was great. Dallas, Austin, Houston in 10 days. We saw my family and Zazie's family. We saw the Fort Worth Water Gardens, drove around Austin (that was mainly what we did there- those damn baby naps get in the way of intensive touristing), went to the Houston Zoo and the Houston Contemporary Arts Museum. The girls swam for the first time!
Ruby has been intermittently crawling since the trip. Ellie learned a new trick too. You know when you say "Ahhhh" and put your hand up to your mouth and it sounds like "Awh Awh Awh"? (Does that make any sense?) It's super cute because she does it with the back of her hand.
Now, when Ruby wakes up in the middle of the night (last night, it happened several times), we'll go to her crib and she'll be sitting up with her eyes closed, crying. It's the most pathetic thing. Is that just what babies who've learned to sit up well do? I usually will lay her back down, but it seems mean to make her do that.
We also had our first "What the...?" in the middle of the night. Ruby was screaming (pretty sure those top teeth are coming in), I went in, laid her back down and tried to put her pacifier in her mouth. She batted the paci away, so I got her a bottle (middle of the night feeding.. yes, that's probably wrong somehow). When I took her out of her crib, the middle of her back was wet. The diaper had leaked, but it wasn't even that full, really. Super weird.
Ruby has been intermittently crawling since the trip. Ellie learned a new trick too. You know when you say "Ahhhh" and put your hand up to your mouth and it sounds like "Awh Awh Awh"? (Does that make any sense?) It's super cute because she does it with the back of her hand.
Now, when Ruby wakes up in the middle of the night (last night, it happened several times), we'll go to her crib and she'll be sitting up with her eyes closed, crying. It's the most pathetic thing. Is that just what babies who've learned to sit up well do? I usually will lay her back down, but it seems mean to make her do that.
We also had our first "What the...?" in the middle of the night. Ruby was screaming (pretty sure those top teeth are coming in), I went in, laid her back down and tried to put her pacifier in her mouth. She batted the paci away, so I got her a bottle (middle of the night feeding.. yes, that's probably wrong somehow). When I took her out of her crib, the middle of her back was wet. The diaper had leaked, but it wasn't even that full, really. Super weird.
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