What do you do?

The day we found out we were pregnant, we were snorkeling in Belize. A family in our snorkel group had nine year-old twin boys. Zazie, of course, had a feeling from the moment the test turned positive that morning (on earliest day the test could work, by the way) that we were having twins. These were the first people we told about our pregnancy.

We had a long conversation with them that day. They told us that they didn't tell their boys who'd been born first. In fact, their boys had gotten in a discussion with one of their friends at school. This kid said: "You can't have been born at the exact same time. That's impossible." To which the boys replied, "How do you know? You're not a twin!"

We thought that was a pretty cool idea. We've learned from Zazie's sisters (who are also fraternal twins) that sometimes birth order can become pecking order. Despite being only minutes apart, one twin became the de facto "oldest."

After talking with our new Belize friends, we decided they had it right. We weren't going to tell anyone who'd been born first. We know, but no one else will.

It's been really hard, though. Who knew? People act a little insulted when they ask who was born first and we won't tell them. Zazie & I are people-pleasers and it's difficult to tell people no. We just say "We're not telling anyone."

Is there a better way to say it?

They are nearly three months old!

These girls turn three months old on Sunday. (We are counting weeks instead of going by the calendar date. Does that sound right?)

This morning, I got them ready for the day and they were both smiling at me... those smiles are delicious. It's getting easier and easier to make them smile. This morning, Ruby was enjoying my kissing noises, while Ellie thought my chucking her cheeks was fantastic.

Zazie takes them to the pediatrician for their vaccinations this morning. We're doing a spread-out schedule, which I know is controversial, but they'll get them all, just not all at once. The doctor's fine with it and we feel more comfortable. I am waiting for the call that they did ok.

It is so hard to leave them in the morning and I rush home from work every night to see them again. Last night, Aunt B. was holding Ruby and Ruby started to cry and cry and cry. I can't say I wasn't pleased to have her stop crying immediately the second I started to hold her.

My sweet girls make my heart fill to bursting.

Hallelujah!

The girls have had problems latching since birth. They were preemies and, though they were healthy and good-sized for twins, breastfeeding hasn't come easy. Zazie's been pumping enough for most of their bottles, but she'd like a break from that once in a while. We were told by the lactation consultant that preemies usually get the hang of it right around when they would be considered full-term.

They're a couple weeks behind, but praise jeebus, they both fed for a significant amount of time last night!! I think we might be over the hump. That's a huge weight off Zazie's mind.

And this too shall pass, yes?

So far, the girls have been pretty mellow. We've fed them, burped them, changed them, played with them a bit (depending on the time of day), then they go right back to sleep. Now, holy jeebus, things have changed. If they are awake and we are not holding them, they are crying to be held. When they wake up to be fed, there's no leeway... they're 0 to OHMYGODFEEDMENOWI'MDYING. That aside, they are both thisclose to smiling & we are anxiously awaiting that day. After seeing their gassy smirks, their actual smiles will be beautiful.

6 weeks Sunday!

More pictures! Yeah!

A Whole Month...

Today would've been my girls' due date if... well, if there had been only one baby, or if they hadn't been breech, or if the doctor had been willing to let them go to 40 weeks.

As it is, Sunday will be their 1 month birthday! I can't believe it. They've grown so much already. This picture is from a couple of weeks ago. I had been taking pictures pretty frequently, but now that I'm back at work, it's a little difficult.

I don't know... the first few weeks, we didn't know our own names. We were bleary-eyed exhaustion. For now, though, things seem relatively easy. The "zoo" part of Zeebah & Zazie will happen later, I guess. They eat at regular intervals, they sleep, they're alert for longer and longer periods of time. Neither of them are criers- well, they are, but they're usually just trying to tell us something & they're quickly consolable.

My girls are awesome.

My beautiful ladies

Ruby Dianne & Eleanor Kate

September 27, 2009

4 lbs., 14 oz. and 5 lbs., 12 oz.

We are at home & in love. More later.