Thursday, March 4, 2010

Let's take a poll.

It seems that most of the non-bio moms I can think of (myself included) are "Mama." How does that happen? And why?

Zazie and I decided that we would choose what we'd be called and I got first dibs. I chose Mama partially because it seemed more Southern (a girl has to do something up here in this Yankee wilderness, I suppose), despite calling my own mother "Mommy" growing up.

Now I sometimes slip & call myself Mommy because that's the word I naturally associate with the idea of mother. How awkward that I don't even know my own name! In retrospect I have to wonder, did I choose Mama because I was insecure about my role in our family? Now that they have been here five whole months, I feel much more certain of my place. My girls are definitely my daughters and I feel it in my bones.

What do you call yourself?


  1. Perhaps it is different in our family, because we will be alternating who will be the bio mom. But Justine (the first bio mom) will be mama, and I (the first non-bio mom) will be mum, or perhaps just mom. I love learning what other mamas are called and I am curious to see what others say.

  2. We're the opposite of you guys over here. As the bio-mom, I'm Mama and my wife is Mom/Mommy. These were both our titles of choice.

  3. Glad to hear what others have done... that makes me feel a little better!

    Boo, we are also alternating- Zazie was first, I'll start TTC for baby #3 (yikes!) in winter 2011 using the same donor. It seems so far away, and yet, so very close!

  4. Non-bio mom is Mama in our house and bio-mom is Mema.

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  6. Bio-mom (me) is Mama and non-bio mom (Em) is Mommy. We went with the names that we used with the cats. Reflecting on it recently, Em and I realized that we started calling each other the name we used for our own mothers. So Em called me Mama to the cats as she calls her mother, and I called Em Mommy to the cats, as that is what I call my mother. X is 16 months and I still get confused and call myself Mommy sometimes. But we asked X the other day where is Mommy and he indicated Em and we said where is Mama and he indicated me. So we may be confused, but he isn't!