Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Ugh. We are feeling terrible for so many reasons.

I spent time this morning reading the donor's obituary and some of the newspaper articles about him. So many people in his community knew and counted on him. It is obvious from the articles and news stories that he was well-loved by everyone. We are told by the bank that he was so loved by the staff that they all attended his memorial service. His generous gifts of life to strangers were even mentioned at the service.

When we chose our donor, we sought an open donor. We didn't want a known donor because we didn't want possible legal confusion or to add another person to our family, but we did want the girls to have the ability to seek him out for questions if they chose when they were eighteen. With the information we had about him, we were fairly certain that if/when the girls sought him out, he would not regret his decision to be an open donor & refuse contact. Now they'll never get the opportunity. We mourn for our girls. The bank staff think that in time, his parents may be open to contact, which will be nice, but obviously won't be the same.

There will be a memorial ride for road safety in his name soon & we plan to donate to it. I have been racking my brain to think of a way to commemorate the absolutely huge gift this man gave to us. We are so grateful to him for helping us create our family. I'll just say a prayer for now.


  1. what a beautiful tribute. i feel sad and feel the loss for your family. but also so happy that he was such a well-loved person and that we gave you such a gift, without even knowing you. the girls will have that legacy. they will know, most certainly, that the DNA that helped to make them came from a lovely human being.
    condolences to all of you, this is a terrible loss.
    i love you.

  2. Wow, that is just so heavy. So sorry that your girls won't have a chance to ask questions when they're older. And how lucky your girls are to have two loving mamas to complete their family. Really cool about the ride in his name.